A Sexual Conscience: Interview with Vanessa de Largie, Australian Actress, Author, Sex Columnist, Journalist and Blogger

Vanessa de Largie hails from Australia and is an award-winning actress, author, prolific sex-columnist, freelance journalist and blogger. Her novels explore the dimensions of female sexuality. She has worked as an entertainer for over 20 years, engaged in film, theater, television, radio, voice over, compère, spoken word and photographic modelling. She currently resides in London where she is studying at The Actors Centre in London as a visiting international artist.

Vanessa de Largie’s writing focuses on feminism, fierce female sexuality and women’s issues. She has published four memoirs. Her columns, essays and feature articles are internationally published and have appeared in The Huffington Post, Maxim Magazine (monthly column), Penthouse Magazine, The Daily Telegraph, The Courier Mail, Kinkly, Rebelle Society, Cara Sutra, Thought Catalog, The Sydney Morning Herald, Milk Bar (Melbourne), The Mercury (Tasmania), The Spectator (Australia) and The Canberra Times among many others.

 Link:  Vanessa de Largie 


NP: You’re an enchanting, adventurous and sensuous soul that is both assertive and charismatic with an independent spirit my research notes suggest. Your columns in Maxim Magazine, The Huffington Post and Penthouse Magazine (to name just a few) are what might be described as those of ‘a street savvy public intellectual’ that combines the spiritual and sensual with a pragmatic, open-minded ‘way of seeing’ things. You don’t mince words and are a refreshing breath in your perception of the world around you. How would you describe your youth and young adult years and the process in which you shaped the narrative of your life? What was the effect of religion, culture and societal norms on you, if any?

de Largie: I was born to elderly parents who had already raised four sons.  My mother definitely didn’t plan to have a fifth child! Because of my parent’s age, I was given a wealth of freedom and support. My sexual self was present from ‘day dot’ or from an early age. I’ve felt sexually curious my entire life.  It’s how I connect with the outer world. My late father was Catholic and my late mother was Anglican-turned-Atheist.  My parents were liberated, so I don’t feel religion shaped my narrative as such. I’ve always been driven and have always known what I wanted to do with my life.

‘Self’ – individualism’ and ‘liberty’ are the things I value most. I feel uncomfortable with projected reality (or reality projected on me) and conventionalism. I’m always trying to find ways to escape them – fucking, acting and writing allow me to do this.

NP:  Where do you find your inspiration? Sexually? Intellectually? Artistically? Where are you at sexually as a woman, artistically as an actress and writing as a journalist?

de Largie:  Much of my inspiration comes from literature, art and pornography.  I’m gluttonous when it comes to these three passions.  It fills me up the same way a cock does.

Sexually: I’ve been saying I’m in my ‘sexual peak’ for the last decade.  I turned 40 recently and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just a horny feline.

Artistically: I’m in a very happy place right now. I’ve just moved from Australia to London and I’m currently studying at The Actors Centre as an international artist.

In 2011, I had a nervous breakdown. I’d been working as a professional actress for many years but the uncertainty, poverty and rejection was causing me to have crippling panic attacks. I stopped accepting acting work and started writing more as an alternate creative outlet.  Little did I know that I’d have more success with writing than I’d ever experienced as an actress on film or stage.  Though after five joyous years in isolation ‘working the word’, I now finally feel ready to return to acting again.

Writing: I’m in a very fortunate position right now.  I’m a monthly columnist for Maxim Magazine’s print edition and I pay my rent by writing columns for major publications. I don’t take any of this for granted.  I never intended to enter freelance journalism, it evolved organically and I’m so thankful it did.

NP: In the Myth of Monogamy the authors, Barash and Lipton write about how unusual monogamy is in the animal kingdom and that essentially a healthy female has greater sexual stamina than a healthy male with few exceptions. Are we approaching a stage where there’s an overdue need to redefine women’s roles in society as more women than men are breadwinners and wish to fulfill their sexual needs and rights?

de Largie: What a great question!  I don’t believe we are meant to be monogamous nor do I have any interest in settling into a monogamous relationship.  We are animals and conventions such as marriage put unnatural constraints and unwanted pressure on individuals.  I definitely think’ the need to evolve’ in regard to these issues is LONG overdue.

NP: Do you think there’s a basic male insecurity and fear of a sexually empowered woman? If so, do you see that changing?

de Largie: Hmm, perhaps there is in a number of males that are less educated and experienced and find that they are unable to openly articulate their circumstances or concerns. That said, I have found that males I have met to be incredibly accepting and non-judgmental when it comes to my work and me.

NP: What haven’t you experienced and explored that you would like to?

de Largie: My mind suggests that I’d probably enjoy participating in BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Submission, Masochism, etc.) to an intense level – be held captive and tied up in a house somewhere and fucked senseless by men and women repeatedly over a number of days in different orifices. But these kinds of fantasies are incredibly tricky to set up safely without harming anyone. It’s much easier acting through these fantasies in a film than it is in real life. That kind of “real life” experience can come with a price.

NP: How facile is it to dismiss sexual frankness/explicitness as pornography and yet find violence to humans as uncomplicated and shown regularly in film, television and the Internet – what we do to our bodies unnaturally to “beautify” them seems to be a form of abuse and more so the pornography of violence as expressed in war, weapons of minor and mass destruction, genocide, starvation and the assault on humanity? What is your view?

de Largie: Wow, this question is of enormous interest to me and is definitely something I think about to a substantial degree. My work is often dismissed as pornography rather than erotic literature because of the honest and explicit way I write. It saddens me that the art form of erotica and porn is viewed in a sex-negative way. As consumers we are saturated with violent media, advertising, video games and films. People are having fucking botulism injected into their faces, so they no longer emote or express. That’s more violent than pornography will ever be. Last year I wrote a column titled ‘I wanted Kim Kardashian To Die’.  I ended up being splashed across the pages of The Washington Times, Cosmopolitan Magazine (US) and The Guardian because my article was taken ‘literally’ and processed ’emotionally’. The article wasn’t about Kardashian.  The article was about this bullshit-era we’re currently living in where a reality TV star is President of the United States, a person like Kim Kardashian is a ‘God’ and injecting a fatal illness into our frown lines is considered normal.

Today: given my experience, studies and evolving philosophy I’m beginning to think most of the world’s population is sexually oppressed and they probably don’t even know it! Unfortunate!