by Sue DeGregorio-Rosen, RN, CLNC, Contributing Edito

You fell in love with a storm. Did you really think you would get out unscathed?” ~ Nikita Gill

My phone rang. I heard you breathing…..and so, I knew I would have to break the silence. I listened. I listened to you. Your voice. Your hushed tone sounded different. I know this world hurts you, I have heard you whisper those same promises, when the night breaks your silence. I heard you on the phone, you were breathing, rapid breaths.  My heart breaks for you and with you, but we live and we die, we fall apart, broken until there is nothing left……empty promises that serve no one.  It’s a dish better served…….how does that go?  A dish better served cold?

The magic you practice is not real, it’s harsh not mystical,  like the desert in a storm.  The wind is wicked, the magic is hot……and intravenously, it is like a bee sting that rapidly swells.  You open fire and I duck.  I do not want to be in the way of harm……outside the rain begins to fall and tears roll down my cheek.  So many questions I have that are left unanswered.  You cut me deeply, you leave me your scars……for me to raise the dead.  I cannot do that.

A dramatic knock at my door makes me realize that I am not dreaming….. the knock breaks the silence, and then it breaks my heart. 

The officer spoke in monotones……he was brief, as brief as your life.

Nothing could break my heart more than the sound of that scream, but that was my scream.

I am what is broken………..now………