In the quiet moments

I take deep breaths,

that turn into deep sighs,

and an inconsolable grief percolates up

from the depths of my being,

I feel  sorrow and grief so unbearable

I know not what it is

or whence it comes.

pause breathe

 

I cannot comprehend the enormity of this presence

it is threatening to engulf me,

I am drowning in a sorrow so much deeper,

darker than I have ever known or could imagine

the enveloping of an inky  blackness

fills me with fear.

pause, watch the breath

 

I am drowning

I am falling

teetering on the edge of the dark abyss

there is nothing to hold on to, nothing to hold me

pause  and watch the breath

 

a still small voice gently whispers

wait

sit patiently in the darkness

the darkness is the source of all life

like a mother holding her beloved child, the dark earth holds the seed

you are but a seed waiting in the darkness

and as the seed breaks through the hard casing of its shell,

and grows towards the light

your freedom is waiting to break through the hard resistance

of your fear that holds you so tight

pause breathe

trust in life that brought you forth

as the seed sprouts, you may shed your pain

so  sit  patiently, in the darkness of unknowing

place your fear on the wings of your breath

let it go into orgasmic surrender.

 

* A over-educated expat Brit, artist, poet, writer, etc, living in the Northern Territory, Australia (28 yrs with brief interlude of 2 yrs in New Zealand). Worked in Aboriginal education at the Red Centre for 25 years. Currently, working as a counselor and therapist.