In the quiet moments
I take deep breaths,
that turn into deep sighs,
and an inconsolable grief percolates up
from the depths of my being,
I feel sorrow and grief so unbearable
I know not what it is
or whence it comes.
pause breathe
I cannot comprehend the enormity of this presence
it is threatening to engulf me,
I am drowning in a sorrow so much deeper,
darker than I have ever known or could imagine
the enveloping of an inky blackness
fills me with fear.
pause, watch the breath
I am drowning
I am falling
teetering on the edge of the dark abyss
there is nothing to hold on to, nothing to hold me
pause and watch the breath
a still small voice gently whispers
wait
sit patiently in the darkness
the darkness is the source of all life
like a mother holding her beloved child, the dark earth holds the seed
you are but a seed waiting in the darkness
and as the seed breaks through the hard casing of its shell,
and grows towards the light
your freedom is waiting to break through the hard resistance
of your fear that holds you so tight
pause breathe
trust in life that brought you forth
as the seed sprouts, you may shed your pain
so sit patiently, in the darkness of unknowing
place your fear on the wings of your breath
let it go into orgasmic surrender.
* A over-educated expat Brit, artist, poet, writer, etc, living in the Northern Territory, Australia (28 yrs with brief interlude of 2 yrs in New Zealand). Worked in Aboriginal education at the Red Centre for 25 years. Currently, working as a counselor and therapist.