by LJ Frank
When do you think your midlife crisis began?
Long ago. I really can’t pin point the exact day.
Would you like to share your thoughts about it?
The past months and years have the quality of an illusion. They are filled with moments of pleasure, as well as unsavory morsels of wretched dullness, hours of unthinking repetition, interspersed with minutes of intense joy, all the while being conscious of the lies mingled with facts I’m greeted with each day and those I tell myself, knowing that in the end I will most likely succumb to eternal oblivion as I see little empirical evidence that human consciousness survives the physical death of the brain…on the other hand, some form of energy might, and for those in the street, the impoverished, the disabled, those who are trapped in a hellish existence created by other “humans” … perhaps they hope for a spiritual reward to make sense of their particular misery. The bliss of a dreamless sleep or being with other spirits…I don’t know. Doubt periodically plagues me.
Mm. What about your relationships?
There’ve been some wonderful, unforgettably delicious ones, and ones that if I’m honest I never wanted to end and then as usual what you thought was a free will choice is really a form of environment induced behavior modification as if one were merely a puppet caught up in in somebody else’s stage play or film…and…then I have moments of exhilaration especially during the act of carnal relations with incredible intellectual foreplay…and the act of merging with another person… it’s the closest I will come to being physically immortal as a few poetic writers have alluded too.
A thoughtful mind evolves.
Yeah…and there’s the element of the chance…like the encounter, the fleeting glance and enigmatic smile from a stranger…it’s the unknown that keeps me going and wanting to take another peek.
Sounds odd. Sometimes I think I am very close to an objective that’s been missing in my life and, then as I get close it moves away into the distance. Or, perhaps it was always nearby and unrecognized.
Life is amazing.
Some days more than others.
Thanks for sharing. I’ll see you next Friday, okay? It seems our hour’s up.
Our noon rendezvous’ go by so quickly.
I feel the same way…doctor.
We better get dressed.
Yeah, I’m substituting for another professor…his undergraduate class.
And I’ve got to make a call with what’s their name in the nation’s capitol. My client is nervous.
The one in the black robe?