by Sue DeGregorio-Rosen, RN, CLNC, Contributing Editor
Locals know it as the Glass Inlet. The water appears forever calm, reflective of the skies. Everything about it is enchanting. I climb into my boat and head out, soaking up the last of summer’s sun on my browned skin. There is such beauty and mystery, like ancient hidden secrets as I look up at seabirds soar with a backdrop of fast-moving clouds.
I find peace and anchor. The sun is warm, it awakens my soul and ignites something within. I strip down to a black bikini bottom held together on each side by string. And although I wish the season’s end to wait, I allow my body to be replenished by the solitude. I feel like a goddess.
Hearing some splashing I look up and notice you watching me as you fish. You call out to me first.
Hello, I purr……..aware that I am practically naked, with both his eyes focused on my breasts, you are a man who likes to keep it real. Bright with words, you are not afraid to go for it, first. Your presence deep dives into those places of my inner space that are mountainous and humbled. Of course, I knew that I might see you here. I try not to wear my heart on my sleeve, or on yours………
Care to join me…we can tie our boats together…….you are patient and wait for me to answer. Your authenticity has always been intoxicating to me.
Sure, why not.
You have a knack of making something so ordinary as the day an adventure. I wait for you to motor closer, and as you tie our boats together, I feel my breath begin to quicken. You climb into my space.
So, here we are!
Yes, here we are, your eyes never leaving mine, other than to look admiringly at my topless self. You know my messiness, you watch as I pull on a tee shirt, and you chuckle.
I was admiring the view.
Why the tee-shirt?
Enough? You waited until I got here, and then you decided that maybe you should put on a shirt?
I smirk at the comment. You know me well enough to know my sense of humor, that I won’t be pushed or rushed anywhere, I set my own pace.
The subject changes to the day, the end of a season that we are both savoring. We catch up on daily life, separate now. We met in Manhattan at a meditation circle. “Exhale deeply, because you are already perfect, you are already strong, Inhale deeply, because you are already powerful, you are already beautiful……Breathe….” And so, we began on this journey of trust, loving, and personal growth. We grew, and then we grew apart.
Setting me free was a song you needed to hear from a love that no longer existed, yet in some ways persists. It took decades for me to heal from you. You were my dream maker. I felt misunderstood. But what if today I woke up and no longer felt that way? What if today you wanted the same safety and comfort, the same protection as me, what if…?
You’re quiet for a moment, then look deep into me. I feel you pull both strings loose from my bikini bottom, and as I follow that ache in my heart for the end of a season, the hunger in my bones allows me to be led by the stirrings of the leaves that begin to fall………
Breathe, you tell me.