Flash Fiction: The Person as a Form of Real Estate

by LJ Frank

She called and apologized telling me she’d be leaving the country tomorrow on a real estate business trip and asked if we could have a quick rendezvous today to talk about the future. I replied we could.

We sat across from each other with a rectangular craftsman mission coffee table between us. A few architectural magazines were scattered on the surface. There were two stone coasters with cork backing and a glass of water on each. A shower of light flooded the room from a nearby ten-foot tall window. The window also overlooked a minimalist garden.

 “I know what is right for me. If I possessed nothing I would be nothing,” she stated with a voice that seemed to be stuck in her throat.  “My possessions are an expression of who and what I am,” she said adjusting her short pinstripe skirt while crossing her legs. 

I nodded. “And you feel good about this trip tomorrow.”

“Of course,” she said. “The only true business is the real estate business and everything for me is a form of real estate, including people. I’m both an international investor and agent. I’m there to finalize the transaction after all the digital foreplay.” She then gazed at the glass of water in front of her.

“It’s from a bottle,” I said with a smile, and then asked. “You once told me you were practicing mindful awareness.”

“Yeah. You know I perform it in small layers like staring for a minute or so at my gold bracelet that is both an expression of and part of me. May I ask you something?”


“Are you always dressed in slacks, a suit coat, laced boots and an open collar shirt?”

“You’re fashion perceptive,” I grinned and then added, “for some reason I thought real estate had to deal only with land and buildings.”

“That’s so pre-twenty-first century.  Change requires us to adapt.”

“Are you familiar with the Roman poet Ovid’s writings such as the Metamorphoses – in part, everything must give away to a transformation into a new entity. Life is about power, wealth, violence, illusion and disguise with the theme of love woven through existence. Is love a tangible objective?” 

“That which is worthy of my attention are those things that I can grasp and possess and then be able to control the process involving its adaptation.”

I nodded again.

“For me there is only that which I can see and touch. Even a man’s penis is a form of real estate that I measure before I enter into a deal…as well as another woman’s vagina. Genitalia is real estate as is the entire human body. And real estate is my erotic nirvana. I eat, sleep and dream about real estate in all of its delightful forms.”

“So what’s the future of “real estate” look like, especially in this technological age?” 

“There’s will always a need for a negotiator or agent to finalize things regardless of the nature of a real estate transaction.”

“And property and the person aren’t separate entities at all in your mind?” 

“They are one and the same. Even the US Supreme Court ruled a corporation is a person. I’m making a ton of money with that way of thinking.”

“And money in your mind is the central theme to a transformative life?”

“Of course. Isn’t poverty violence to the human soul?”

“I would agree with you about the nature of poverty.”

“Did you read about the discovery of a planet that essentially is a solid diamond?” She asked.

“I did read about it. And?”

“After reading about it I lay awake all-night thinking of how a planet like that could be mined.”

“But what if in the future diamonds became so readily available that their worth would be like collecting sand pebbles on a beach?”

“Blasphemy!”  She chortled. 

“Will you ever have enough?’

“Is there such a thing as enough?”

“What are your thoughts about conscience?”

“What is conscience? For the right price I make the nonsensical Faustian bargain…besides no one has ever seen God. I’m not much on man inspired invisible beings for the sake of control.” Her voice then trailed off as she seem to think of something else, then she looked at her watch and at me. “And it’s getting late.”

“Would you like to continue this conversation in the future?”

“I’ll be in Europe to close a few deals over the next couple weeks. Can we do my therapy over the phone and or perhaps text messages…doctor?”