by Sue DeGregorio-Rosen RN, CNLC, Contributing Editor

letting go

I know, I let you go, when the fire was still burning, you opened up your heart to me…. and you were never mine to keep, yet I loved you like no other.  And for just that reason, I have no regrets……….you said you just wanted to see me smile.

I remember the first time you kissed my neck, what was supposed to be a friendly hug, but it was more. It was in your eyes. And from that day forward I tried to wish you away, I had been alone for the first time, yet you persisted in reaching the beauty of the moment and you promised me heaven. You told me that I was that woman that moved like a butterfly, and you had the nectar that I forever sought.

I never wanted to love you, I tried to dream you away.  You would be my lover in the darkness of the night.  Fighting this feeling was too hard, because the stars were so aligned, and so I let you in.

I didn’t want to love you, for a million reasons why…. but we both closed our eyes and took this journey, not knowing where it would take us. You were what you knew I wanted, the way your lips felt against my neck that first time, that’s the feeling that one holds onto forever.

I got so lost in those sensational moments—some we wish could last forever, and for you, my love, I cannot simply erase the moments that you were looking for. Each one with you will remain forever.

All of my yearnings at times return, I still see that light shine. I don’t know if I still remember the words to the song which kept you awake at night and all that magic between us, but what I do know is that I don’t regret one moment. You were what I needed and I wanted to remain in your eyes and in your heart. I never wanted it to end.  Sometimes, still, I want to look into your eyes, again and hear your whisper when the moon is full.  But I knew then and I know now that it was better to let you go, you had to go.

 I let you go sadly, and with a bitter end. I let you go with tears and with smiles, and I’ve let you go in a thousand different ways that only someone who truly loves you can.

So, wherever you are tonight, I wish you well.

I don’t know why we were, but I knew I would be your only dream, because I loved you. And I wish you the best of everything.

It still feels like there was a purpose and that we have some unfinished business, maybe not in this life, as we know it.  Maybe next time, time cast a spell on us, and I could have loved you for the rest of my life. For that, I know, I have no regrets.  You will never forget the sound of my voice, and you, too, have no regrets.