by LJ Frank

With scientific precision

my lingua measured 

a centimeter or so shy

of the Guinness record 

making me ponder about my genes 

what effectuates girth and texture

for my apparent prodigious tongue is unbeknownst 

to my dearest and closest

both acquaintances and friends over the years

 though they may have noticed a speech anomaly

with the advice to speak more clearly

and “not let your tongue get in the way”

so, to speak…

there were others who suggested an aural issue 

as cause for the interpretative speech pattern

perhaps it was of an ancestral origin

that served as basis for such an expansive organ

which may have had other uses

such as the erotic side of nature

and to rejoice in the predicament

that spilled from the mouth… 

for there was…

as one might imagine

an undesignated few that were and are enamored 

with such an impasse

and the lingua franca of the offering

that caused generalizations to be made…

but more to the point 

I received a text message

from an oracular woman in Ireland 

that through a friend of a friend  

heard about my Catch 22,

so out of regard for my well-being

she cast a financial spell of seduction

with a seeming innocence on the surface

and a one-way ticket to Dublin

a place in which she’s known among her peers for her skillset

and where she waited anxiously for my presence

though one might suppose that this entire venture be without

“rhyme or humor” I said to myself with tongue in cheek

but, under little pretense I departed Kennedy International Airport

aboard an anonymous private jet as requested

for the all-expenses paid invitation 

leaving me no choice but to fly to her to learn more

and upon landing I was escorted to a limousine 

was greeted in the spacious rear seat

by the woman in a brown tunic like dress

while wearing an enigmatic smile

I nodded and introduced myself 

and she thanked me for arriving safely

she asked me to stick out my tongue

and after inspection stated she wanted me

to be her private pleasure  

upon which she handed me a piece of paper for my signature

a mere waiver as to my independence 

from that moment forward

she would take care of the amenities 

then kissed me on the lips

after which my head fell backwards…

I wakened when hearing a whisper 

“the associated needs of your existence are secure,”

I shook my head on second thought and was about to make my exit

when I realized the door was locked 

and began to perspire

it was that feeling embracing me 

the one between deep sleep and waking up

when I felt a hand on my shoulder and a soft voice

and realized I might have been dreaming after all

until I thought I heard

the sound of ocean waves crash ashore nearby

opening my eyes I observed a figure hover above me 

it was the woman smiling as she straddled me 

moving closer to my face she asked,

“Am I in your dream or are you in mine?”