by Sue DeGregorio-Rosen, RN, CLNC, Contributing Editor
I inhale the air around me. And I then exhale in slow motion. My version of Zen Therapy as I sit in a Lotus position contemplating your physical presence. My mind beckoned and in a magical coincidence you appeared, The invite was sincere. I wanted to know you in between each breath, I begin to feel sensations, without a touch, you have aroused my curiosity. What is it about fantasy? I wonder what would happen if I appeared in your fantasies. What would I be wearing? Would you know? What would stimulate you about me?
I don’t think I know yet…our meeting, our touch? Somehow, I know it will be remarkable and perhaps provocative. I heard through a friend you had a bath fetish. That thought causes my creative juices to flow, as I feel you make contact with me. The impact is sudden, your arms reach around my waist, and in that moment, I turn to you as you slowly lower us into this sacred bath. A bath, you tell me, is such a magical experience, healing and soothing. I add 3 drops of lavender and 3 drops of vanilla oils to the water, anymore would overwhelm our system. You rub my back with some sweet almond oil. My senses connect, as if you know me that well. You have watched me for a minute, my connection with various forms of nature, the energies of my practice are obvious, the gift that spirit offers us is what we need in the moment.
The intimacy that we will share is about more than how we relate with each other, and more about ourselves. I pour some water on you, as if I really know you, too, as if I have figured out that you stir my awareness in your presence, and that you can give me what I need in a moment to awaken without expectations in my wild witch’s heart.
I hunger for your flesh, and I am fascinated by your understanding of your own energy and how you have arrived. Have I manifested this current state? No, I know that. I am not that powerful, and so I forge this connection with what is actually here and not what I assume.
I am what one may call a naturalist, I draw my energy from the power grid of nature and I am a practicing healer, or as once referred to as a “witch”, hence my wild witch’s heart. This is a practice where I embrace all with my mind, body, and spirit. It is a birth right of an element of the spiritual path of the universe untouched by the modern day. It is the four seasons that recognize seasonal energies for the solstices and equinoxes. You are good with that part of me, you say, as you brush my curls out of my face, and tilt my chin up. I close my eyes and feel the softness of your lips, your kiss is like nectar. You run your fingers down my breast, into the waters, as I lean back. I feel you wandering beneath the warm ripples and I am on fire. You tell me that “In Freudian psychology, eros, not to be confused with libido, is not exclusively the sex drive, but our life force, the will to live. It is the desire ……..” and in the stillness, anything can happen.
I have no interest in being recognized by the very systems that need to be dismantled. Today, we recognize that in the very white patriarchal case takedown of Roe v. Wade. You touch me in places that distract my thoughts.
I tell you that “witch”, as I feel you begin an introduction of a practice that involves the use of your own natural energies, is a sensual earthly creature person, and has become a smear campaign against women. It has been effectively used to deflect the power of a woman, in whatever species………
Do you know that?
You are persistent as you listen to me speak. Your eyes are a deep blue, that makes me feel the air as an element that caresses my skin. You tell me to breathe, to allow life to penetrate me, but it is you who does that as you lift me up onto you, and wrap my legs around you.
This ritual we have embraced is by design to appeal to our senses, and to our desires. I deliberately used my feminine energy to seduce you so that you could visualize me as you desire. You were always free to invoke your own energy as you saw fit, but no further action was taken, so I took the lead and you followed me.
Why? I ask you………
But that movement in that very moment is intense, like that fire within. And so I return to the rhythm of a song I hear playing in the background. Nature has rhythms, as does the music in the wind. It’s called harmony. As does the act we are engaged in. This is the moment that we both return to what began as an innocent connection.
Are you ready yet?
This is it…this is the moment that we both, now, can begin to come back and explore that innocent connection with your own eros, no matter what has just happened between us.
Feel it. I feel it…….
A response to this invitation, is an open invite. And at any given moment we both understand how delicious the rhythm of this encounter is, to the god or goddess.
And so, I ask, as I watch you dress to leave …….
What’s your name??