Dr. Fayr Barkley

by: Fayr Barkley

Fayr Barkley Media

Creator, Writer, Producer/Director


When I was doing casting at Hollywood Center Studios (now known as Sunset Studios in Hollywood) for a television pilot I wrote, I had a casting session that was disastrous, and led to me writing a list that every aspiring actor should heed and never aspire to replicate.

Here are the top 10 reasons you didn’t get the part:

1) You came into the audition on your cell phone and we all sat while you finished your call, then you threw your hat on my table and said the “f” word 10 times during your audition.

2) You didn’t wear panties under your dress and seductively uncrossed your legs a la Sharon Stone and flashed my co-producer who abruptly walked out of the room and never returned to the audition session.

3) I was casting a comedy and you took your top off and showed me your boobs.

4) The role called for a comedic actor and you cried while you auditioned, because your last acting gig was twenty years ago in a Woody Allen film and your character had to cry on cue.

5) You had so much bad facial plastic surgery, I thought you were an aging person of ambiguous gender, trying to take years off yourself as being thirty years younger. In other words, your headshot was decades out of date.

6) You didn’t bring a headshot or resume with you or any prepared material, had zero on-camera experience, admitted you had never studied the acting craft, but insisted you were perfect for the part.

7) You built your career being a B-movie scream queen and defiantly started screaming your head off during the audition, even after I instructed you not to.

8) When you found out who our lead female was, you said you wanted to f**k her.

9) Your resume said you were featured in 5 films, but upon questioning, you admitted you had only worked background; in other words, you were always a face in the crowd and never had a speaking role.

10) I asked you to do some comedic improv with me and you weren’t funny. In fact, you had absolutely no talent whatsoever…and it showed.

Only in Hollywood? Maybe.

There may be one in a hundred actors a day who auditions and fills the bill; if he or she is talented enough and is the type, the role calls for.

And believe it or not, it’s important that the person hiring actually likes you; so be respectful and behave. Leave your personality disorder and narcissism at home. Don’t be an a**hole.

I can only imagine how disappointing the casting process can be outside of Hollywood; the place “real” actors go to get their break.

If you want to get booked, learn your craft, develop improvisation skills, don’t lie about your experience, prepare for the audition, behave appropriately,

and for heaven’s sake keep your clothes on.