by Hilary Bowring, Contributing Editor
I had been connecting with my Spirit Guides in meditation for several years starting in the early 90s which felt like a normal way to get help and advice in my life. So naturally immediately after my husband’s sudden death, I was very much drawn to connecting with him to keep him alive…and this time it was like an actual voice speaking in my ear, reassuring me of his presence and giving me help. And that’s how I got through preparing his funeral in England.
He had travelled ahead of me from Canada to attend his father’s funeral; I was planning on joining him 3 days later. My Guides had advised us to go together later that week, however there were other people involved who pressed to leave asap, so he went ahead of me. He died there a couple of days before his father’s funeral. So I had to go there …on my own and arrange my husband‘s funeral.
Took an airplane from Canada with my mother who was wonderful at protecting me from all the societal morays around death…Mainly ‘Get over it’ as quickly as possible.
I was stunned — inoperable as a human being in many ways. Yet I had to both go to his father’s funeral and then arrange my husband David’s funeral a day or two later.
The Funeral and Celebration of Life.
Not many back then were celebrating with rock music — I was strongly influenced by the funeral in ‘The Big Chill’ movie.
Despite the unexpected youthful ending of my beloved’s life…
I knew the songs that he loved a lot so I could make a Eulogy of him through music pretty close to what he would’ve chosen, progressive rock:
Dire straits. ‘Local hero.’
Sinead O’Connor. ‘Feel so different.’
REM. ‘Losing my religion’
Genesis. ‘Hold on my heart’\
Peter Gabriel ‘In your eyes’ (they went to the same prep school in England.)
I came back to Canada, devastated, consumed with grief. However grateful for a small miracle on the journey home – I didn’t have to put his ashes through the security x-ray at Heathrow airport thanks to a kind security guard. David was treated as sacred.
We communed every day in the morning and I was writing about things he was feeding into me.
I should’ve said we’d been on a spiritual path to help make sense of intense addiction challenges and came to expect benevolence after all the pain. When he died so suddenly I could not believe this could’ve happened, I was definitely in incredulity of “Why do bad things happen to good people?” I no longer believed in anything…
Thus conversations with my husband centred on, aside from the basic daily reassurance that he was still with me, my exploratory writing and receiving insights from him to find something I could believe in –we discussed topics like ‘What is Forgiveness?
….and one day I was ….
particularly unsure about his guidance…is this real? is this really him??
I was sitting in our dining room writing at the table, miserably questioning what’s real with him and what’s not him and I felt this whirl of energy …’
Around the room so strong that it brought down the heavy curtains at the window —they crashed loudly to the floor..
Wow! I could feel his energy of …
OK! Now I’ve shown you I’m here!! I am Here! (David would be different and break the rules!!)
I quickly understood how hard that would’ve been to use so much energy to push back into this dimension -I was completely convinced and didn’t want to push him there again. So became able to sense and confirm in more subtle ways when he was talking to me. I went to that place, a softer place towards the top of my brain, thoughts there were him, and still he is to this day. We keep on communicate and he helps me with all my writing and thoughts.
It’s great that there is much more evidence being gathered about multi -dimensionality and how when we die we’re just in another space another vibration, and we can still connect with each other across the dimensions.
I think this is my anthem “Still you Turn me On” Greg Lake, looks like David too.
My hope is it the more we get closer to a place of feeling comfortable when we sense our beloveds are with us, we can go further in appreciating our continued connection with our Ancestors. Science supports this in our DNA. And the mystical understanding is that we are an evolutionary vector, where we still affect our ancestors down the timeline. As we evolve through similar patterns they do too. Here’s a Meditation connecting with our Ancestors. Clearing any shared karma.